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洗澡颂,不过是个冷水澡

洗澡颂,不过是个冷水澡



我们翻译这篇文章的理由


当我在洗冷水澡的时候,我在想什么。

——崔颖


👇


洗澡颂,不过是个冷水澡


作者:JAMES PARKER

 译者:崔颖

校对:唐萧

策划:宋一 & 刘蕊


Here’s what used to happen.

过去,我的日常如下:


I’d wake up, smoldering and sighing, reel out of bed and into the kitchen, and put the kettle on. Then I’d think: Well, now what? Time would go granular, like in a Jack Reacher novel, but less exciting. Five minutes at least until the kettle boils. Make a decision. Crack the laptop, read the news. Or stare murkily out the window. Unload the dishwasher? Oh dear. Is this life, this sour weight, this baggage of consciousness? What’s that smell? It’s futility, rising in fumes around me. And all this before 7 a.m.

睁眼,起床气郁郁地在胸口翻滚,我叹口气,跌跌撞撞地挪下床走进厨房,再把水烧上。然后我会想:那,现在干嘛?时间变得具象,像在杰克•李奇小说中那样,不过没那么激动人心罢了。离水烧开至少还有五分钟。快做决断。开电脑,看新闻。还是睡眼惺忪地盯着窗外;要不把洗碗机里的碗收好?天啊,这难道就是生活?这阴郁的重量,这意识的重担就是生活吗?什么味道?是空虚啊,像无味毒气一样升腾到空中环绕着我,这才不到早上7点钟。 


Here’s what happens now.

如今,我的日常如下:


I wake up, smoldering and sighing, reel out of bed and into the kitchen, and put the kettle on. And then I have a cold shower.

睁眼,起床气郁郁地在胸口翻滚,我叹口气,跌跌撞撞地挪下床走进厨房,再把水烧上。然后冲个凉水澡。


I don’t want to go overboard here, reader. Life-changing, neurosis-canceling, enlightenment at the twist of a tap—I don’t want to make these claims for the early-morning cold shower. But if like me you have a sluggish seam of depression in your nature, and a somewhat cramped brain, and a powerful need, throughout the day, for quasi-electrical interventions of one sort or another, reboots and renewals—or if you just want to wake up a little faster—can I most devoutly recommend that you give it a shot?

读者朋友,我并不想表现得热衷于此。我不想为早晨洗个冷水澡说些人生无常,恐惧消散,开悟就在拧开水龙头的那一刻降临之类的宏论。但如果你像我这般,性子里有那么一条通向沮丧的恹恹缝隙,自己的脑袋有那么点难搞,也有强烈的需求,一天下来,得来个类似电击的这种或那种“振奋剂”才能生龙活虎;或者你就想赶紧清醒,那我最真诚地推荐您冲个凉水澡试试。


Do it first thing. As soon as you get up. Don’t torture yourself with postponement. And don’t muck around with hot-to-cold transitions, temperature tweakings, etc. Fling wide the plastic curtain, crank the tap to its coldest, take a breath, and step right in. Not grimly or penitentially, but with slapstick defiance: Holy Mother of God! Cowabunga! Here I go! (If it’s too early in the day for slapstick defiance, try a head-shake of weary amazement.)

只要一起床,第一件事就是它。千万别用拖延折磨自己。别整那些由热至凉的过渡,也别微调水温,等等等等。一把掀开浴帘,打开喷头调到最凉,深吸一口气,大步走入水中。别弄那么严肃,也别有什么愧疚,带着打闹般的藐视:老天爷阿!太爽了!不能够了!(如果说天儿实在太早了,打闹般的挑衅还整不出来,那你就试试甩头,甩掉那要命的惊讶感)


The water hits, and biology asserts itself. You are not a tired balloon of cerebral activity; you are a body, and you are being challenged. You gulp air; your pulse thumps. Your brain, meanwhile, your lovely, furry old brain, goes glacier-blue with shock. Thought is abolished. Personality is abolished. You’re a nameless mammal under a ravening jet of cold water. It’s a kind of accelerated mindfulness, really: In two seconds, you’re at the sweet spot between nonentity and total presence. It’s the cold behind the cold; the beautiful, immobile zero; a flame of numbness bending you to its will. Also—this is important—you can still lather up in a cold shower, and get all your washing done: hair, body, everything.

水柱袭来,生理机能全开。你不再是大脑活动作用下那个萎蔫的气球;你有血有肉,你正在接受挑衅。你大口吸气,脉搏突突地跳。与此同时,你的大脑,你那可爱的毛茸茸的脑袋,惊得如蓝冰川般坚挺。思想已被叫停,个性已经泯灭,你就是一只无名的哺乳动物站在穷凶极恶的冰水柱下。真的!这是一种加速的入定:只要两秒,你就完成了介于无我与真我之间的绝妙跑位。冰冻之感,退无可退。那美丽、静止的临界点,那升腾的麻木感让你屈服。此外—— 还有很重要的一点—— 你仍可在冷水中涂上泡沫,洗头、身体、从头到脚,好好把澡洗完。


Then you get out, and you’re different. Things have happened to your neurotransmitters that may be associated, say the scientists, with elevated mood and increased alertness. You’re wide awake, at any rate. Your epidermis is cool and seal-like. Your nervous system is jangling—but melodically, like tiny bells. And from the kitchen, you can hear the kettle starting to whistle.

走出浴室,你焕然一新。这时你脑中的神经递质已经发生变化了,科学家说,这些神经递质与你提振的心情、敏锐度也许颇为相关。不管怎么说,你是彻底醒了。你皮肤清爽,如海豹般油亮。你的脑内通路叮当作响 —— 如优美旋律,像小铃铛轻敲。这时,你听见厨房里的水壶也响起来了。




洗澡颂,不过是个冷水澡

  • 本文原载于 The Atlantic

  • 原文链接:https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2020/03/cold-showers/605557/



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