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胡子拉渣,法力无边

胡子拉渣,法力无边

我们翻译这篇文章的理由

不知道从什么时候开始,许多周围的潮男都开始留起了胡子。不信你看看“渣男”吴秀波、胡须版的金世佳和高以翔,心中是不是响起惹三个字——“我可以”。其实,胡子的风潮不是现代社会独有的,从古至今,不同时代对胡须都有着不同的诠释。本文的作者阿德里安·伍德里奇尽管极其厌恶胡须,但也不得不承认胡子的魅力可以直达永恒。

——倪凌晖

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胡子拉渣,男人最爱

作者:ADRIAN WOOLDRIDGE

译者:倪凌晖

校对:刘 蕊

策划:刘璠 &唐萧

Why I fear the beard is here to stay

胡子拉渣,男人最爱

Human history is horribly hairy, accepts Adrian Wooldridge, a committed pogonophobe.

本文作者阿德里安·伍德里奇是《经济学人》杂志的运营编辑兼该杂志熊彼特专栏的专栏作家。作为一名坚定的胡须厌恶者,阿德里安·伍德里奇也不得不承认:人类的历史就是一部毛发缠绕的历史。

We live in the age of the beard. Margaret Thatcher didn’t “tolerate any minister of mine wearing a beard”. Police once went beard-free. But today, beards are everywhere. In Britain, Prince Harry and Jeremy Corbyn, the leader of the opposition, both sport beards. In America, Paul Ryan, former Republican speaker, and Ted Cruz, once a Republican presidential candidate, have experimented with facial fuzz. Even Disney, the cleanest-cut of brands, has lifted its 60-year ban on beards for Disneyland employees.

我们现在生活在一个以留络腮胡为潮流的年代。但曾经可不是这样。英国前首相玛格丽特·撒切尔曾说过:“我的内阁大臣一个都不许留胡子。” 曾几何时,留胡子更是英国警察的禁忌。但如今,留胡子的人哪哪都是。在英国,你能看到哈里王子和反对党党魁杰里米·科尔宾留着络腮胡。在美国,你能看到前共和党众议院议长保罗·瑞安和曾是共和党总统候选人的特德·克鲁兹带着胡渣的脸庞。即使是最强调员工外表整洁的迪士尼,也废除了60年来的“员工留胡禁令”。

Occasionally you hear that the beard bubble is about to burst: Bradley Cooper or George Clooney bid their bristles farewell; in San Francisco, young men in the city’s most fashionable bars are now clean-shaven. Yet at a drinks party recently, deep in rural Hampshire, I noticed with horror that a decidedly un-trendy friend of mine – a man who started wearing bell-bottoms only in the mid-1980s – had grown a goatee. “It’s the latest thing, you know,” he told me. Alas, we can assume that beards are here to stay.

有时你可能会听说,留胡子的风潮马上就过去了。布莱德利·库柏和乔治·克鲁尼都和自己的胡须说再见了。在旧金山,全城最火的酒吧里没有一个留胡子的,大家的面部都光洁可人。但就在最近,在英格兰汉普郡乡间深处的酒会上,我却“惊恐”地发现,我的一个朋友却留着山羊胡。他显然不是那种会追随社会风潮的人,在上世纪八十年代中期,他穿喇叭裤。他告诉我:“这可是现在最潮的。”好吧,我们只能假设,留胡子的风潮是永远不会过去了。

According to John Sparrow, former Warden of All Souls College, Oxford, and a formidable scholar of beards, history has seen only two clean-shaven eras. The first was the late Roman Republic and early Empire, when Romans regarded themselves as defenders of civilisation encircled by hirsute savages. The second was England after 1660 when, for 150 years or so, “not a beard grew upon an English chin”. The great figures of this era – Pitts the Elder and Younger, Pope and Swift, Gibbon and Burke – were all pink-cheeked cherubs. Sparrow simplifies: the 1930s, 1950s and 1980s were largely beard-free too. But he’s basically right. Human history is horribly hairy.

约翰·斯帕罗是英国牛津大学万灵学院的前校监,他也是一名令人尊敬的胡须研究者。据他所说,历史上只有俩个时期人们是不留胡子的。第一个时期是罗马共和国晚期以及后来的罗马帝国早期。那时的罗马人认为自己是被多毛的野蛮人所包围的文明捍卫者。第二个时代则是1660年后的英格兰,大概持续了150多年。“那时,每一个英格兰人的下巴上都不曾长过一根胡须。”那时的伟人脸颊都如天使般干净。(译者注:请自行脑补圣母耶稣图周围面颊红润有光泽的婴儿天使形象。)再比如,政治家老威廉·皮特和他的儿子小威廉·皮特、诗人亚历山大·蒲柏、作家乔纳森·斯威夫特、历史学家爱德华·吉本以及哲学家埃德蒙·伯克。斯帕罗概括道,在上世纪30年代、50年代和80年代,人们基本也不留胡子。但他基本是正确的。人类的历史就是一部长满胡须的历史。

Apart from aesthetic objections, many people oppose beards for their unsanitariness and barbarism. Roald Dahl’s Mr Twit snacked on bits of sardines, Stilton and cornflakes stuck in his beard. Peter the Great personally clipped the beards of his courtiers. Auberon Waugh liked to point out that the great enemies of bourgeois civilisation – Marx, Lenin and the guy in “The Joy of Sex” – all sported beards.

除了审美上的原因,许多人不喜欢胡子,是觉得胡子不卫生,且让人看上去像个野蛮人。英国儿童文学作家罗尔德·达尔在他的童话故事《蠢特夫妇》中,有一段这样的描述。蠢特先生啃食着沙丁鱼、斯蒂尔顿奶酪和玉米片,食物的碎屑沾满了胡子。此外,彼得大帝还曾亲自把侍臣的胡子给剪了。英国记者奥伯伦·沃则乐于指出资产阶级文明的敌人都是些留胡子的,马克思、列宁还有那个《性爱的喜悦》中的胡须男。

As a committed pogonophobe, it pains me to admit that such objections are exaggerated. Victorian men – the epitome of bourgeois sensibilities – all seemed to come with giant beards attached. The word “barbarian” does not in fact derive from the Latin “barba”, but from “barbari”, people who spoke a foreign tongue. (The Latin word for beard-wearers is “barbati”.) Some of civilisation’s greatest enemies have been anti-beard. For all their other crimes, Mao Zedong and Pol Pot were beautifully clean-shaven. Enver Hoxa, the Stalinist boss of Albania, posted barbers at the border and barred the bearded from entering.

作为一名坚定的胡须厌恶者,我只能痛心疾首地承认上述的这些理由都被夸大了。维多利亚时代的男人是资产阶级情感的象征,他们的脸上都挂着大大的胡须。英文中Barbarian(野蛮人)这个单词事实上并不来源于拉丁词“barba”(胡须),而来源于barbari,指那些说外语的人。(拉丁语中“barbati”才是指留胡子的人。)一些资产阶级文明的敌人也是胡须的反对者。“毛”和柬埔寨革命领袖波尔布特的脸庞都打理得特别干净漂亮。阿尔巴尼亚的斯大林主义领袖恩维尔·霍查更是在边境设置理发处,禁止那些留胡子的人入关。

Confusingly, the semiotics of beards have varied over time, from sexual virility, to authority and manliness, then rebellion and revolution. For many they indicate religious devotion; for ageing hippies a rejection of piety.

令人不解的是,关于胡子的象征,在不同的时代有不同的诠释。胡须曾象征着威武的性能力,再发展为权利的象征,男子气概的象征,然后发展成为反抗和革命的象征。对于许多人来说,胡须象征着对宗教的虔诚。而对于那些正在步入晚年的嬉皮士,留胡子恰恰是对宗教道德的反抗。

Today, to my frustration, beards can’t even be convicted on health-and-safety grounds. Beards have boosted an already bloated grooming industry. Chemists sell beard oils, trimmers and tweezers. Barbers charge a premium for sculpting facial hair. Beards don’t represent the normalising of laziness or barbarism. Much worse: they represent the mainstreaming of male vanity.

现在,尽管心有不甘,但我只能承认没办法从健康和完全方面入手来“攻击”胡须。留胡子的潮流推动了本就庞大的理发产业的发展。化工公司向大众销售着胡须油以及修剪胡子用的剪子和镊子。理发店则收着胡须打理的服务费。尽管这股潮流并不表示人们变得更加野蛮和懒惰了,但留胡须却成为了大众所追求的男士形象。这种华而不实,纯粹满足虚荣心的现象比野蛮和懒惰更加糟糕。

胡子拉渣,法力无边

  • 本文原载于 1843

  • 原文链接:https://www.1843magazine.com/upfront/how-we-live-now/why-i-fear-the-beard-is-here-to-stay

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