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【BBC】“分手费”哪地强?

【BBC】“分手费”哪地强?

“分手费”并未受到法律约束,有点像是当事一方给曾经的伴侣一份离婚协议书。提出结束关系的人往往需要支付这笔费用。至于要给前任多少“分手费”才合适,取决于双方为了这段关系投入了多少时间、精力和金钱。


你会给前任“分手费”吗?


【BBC】“分手费”哪地强?


作者:Kerry Allen

译者:徐嘉茵 & 明艾

校对:邵海灵

编辑:邹世昌


本文选自 BBC | 取经号原创翻译

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Earlier this month, police in the eastern Chinese city of Hangzhou responded to a call after bar staff reported finding a suspicious suitcase.

本月(译者注:本月指2018年5月)早些时候,中国东部的杭州市民警接到酒吧员工的报案电话,称发现了一个可疑的行李箱。

 

It contained two million yuan in cash ($314,204; £233,323) – an extraordinary amount of money, maybe even life-changing.

箱子里面有两百万人民币现金(约合314,204美元和233,323英镑),这可以说是非常大的金额了,甚至或许能改变人生。

 

They managed to track down the owner, who according to the local police, had arranged to meet with his ex-girlfriend in the bar.

他们成功找到箱子的主人,据当地民警称,箱子的主人本是约了前女友在这间酒吧见面的。

 

The money? It was a “break-up fee” a new trend in Chinese dating.

那这钱是怎么回事?那是“分手费”,时下流行的中国约会新趋势。

 

The price of true love?

真爱值多少?

 

Everyone knows that dating can be expensive; forking out a bit of cash to buy drinks or meals in the early stages of a relationship, or buying gifts and holidays later on.

大家都知道,约会可能需要花很多钱;在刚确认关系的早期阶段,人们需要破点财来买饮料或者吃饭,或是买些礼物,更进一步的话就是去旅游度假了。

fork out some money:slang, to pay (money, goods, etc), especially with reluctance 掏腰包,破财,尤指不情愿的情况下


No longer content to just have the awkward meeting to hand each others’ stuff back, break-up fees have emerged in recent years in China as a sort of compensation at the end of a long-term relationship.

近年来,人们不再乐意为了把交往时互送的礼物还给对方而尴尬地碰面,于是“分手费”在中国应运而生,它是人们在结束一段长期关系时采用的一种补偿方式。

 

While not legally binding, it’s a bit like one party giving their former partner a divorce settlement.

“分手费”并未受到法律约束,有点像是当事一方给曾经的伴侣一份离婚协议书。

 

It’s the person that ends the relationship that pays the fee. They decide, based on the amount of time, effort and money they have invested in the relationship, how much money they should give to their former partner.

提出结束关系的人需要支付这笔费用。至于要给前任多少“分手费”才合适,取决于双方为了这段关系投入了多少时间、精力和金钱。

 

Some people look pragmatically at the amount of money their partner had spent on them while they were dating, whereas others set a levy based on how severe they think the emotional damage of the break-up will be.

有些人比较实际,看前任在交往过程中花了多少钱,而其他人则根据分手会造成多大的情感伤害来设定一个基准。

 

Break-up fees are more commonly paid by men – out of guilt or in order to offset their partner’s upset. However, increasingly some women see it as acceptable to pay a fee, given that it is traditionally the man who will pay for meals and gifts in a Chinese relationship.

通常来说,“分手费”更多是由男方支付——出于内疚或是对沮丧前任的补偿。然而,越来越多女性认为由她们来支付这笔费用也是可以接受的,毕竟在中国男女双方交往过程中,传统意义上是男方负责请吃饭和送礼物。

 

Some reports suggest they’re an urban phenomenon spurred on by increasing consumerism.

一些报告认为,这是一种在日渐盛行的消费主义驱使下产生的都市现象。

 

But others see them as a possible hangover from earlier times – when Chinese women were more financially dependent on men. Chinese attitudes towards dating have traditionally been pragmatic and geared towards marriage. So the fee is meant to prevent embittered parties from suffering emotional damage, and to help them start a clean slate with their former partner.

但有些人认为那可能是传统观念遗留下来的影响——那时的中国女性在经济方面更依赖男性。中国人对男女交往的态度一直很传统务实,认为交往的目的是结婚。因此,“分手费”的存在是为了让痛苦的双方免遭情感伤害,并帮他们不计前嫌,重新开始新生活

hangover /ˈhæŋoʊvər/ N. Something that is a hangover from the past is an idea or way of behaving which people used to have in the past but which people no longer generally have. 遗留的观念或习俗

pragmatic /præɡˈmætɪk/ Adj. to deal something based on practical considerations, rather than theoretical ones 务实的,实用主义的

geared towards: organized or designed in order to achieve a purpose 为……做好准备

start with a clean slate: to start something again with a fresh beginning, especially unencumbered by mistakes or regrets from the past 冰释前嫌,消除误会,重新开始


Reports suggest that the fee can specifically helps older women who feel they have lost opportunities that they might have had in their youth to either prioritise their career or meet “the one”.

报告表明,“分手费”尤其能帮助到那些上了岁数的女性,她们觉得自己年轻时本可以优先发展事业或收获真爱,如今却错过了这样的机会。

 

Cases of break-up fees which make it into the media range from the seemingly harmless, to those involving complicated court proceedings.

在有关“分手费”事例的报道中,从看似没有造成伤害到卷入复杂的法庭诉讼,五花八门应有尽有。

 

Some have been met with droll humour, such as a case in April where a woman sent her former partner an inventory of every single restaurant and hotel they had visited. She had painstakingly researched how much her partner had spent on her, and wanted to reimburse him what she thought she owed.

有些是比较奇葩的,比如4月的一起事件:一名女性给她的前任寄去一份清单,上面列出他们一起去过的所有餐厅和酒店。她费尽心机地研究前任在她身上花了多少钱,并想据此进行赔偿

reimburse:/,riːɪm’bɜːs/ v. If you reimburse someone for something, you pay them back the money that they have spent or lost because of it 偿还、赔偿


In January, a case in the eastern city of Ningbo involved a man demanding compensation from his girlfriend after she dumped him for going bald.

1月,东部城市宁波发生了这样一件事,一名男子因谢顶而被女友甩掉后,要求对方作出赔偿。

 

Other cases have been more serious. In November 2014, a man in southwest Sichuan province demanded compensation from his girlfriend after finding out that she had other partners.

其他事例则更严重。2014年11月,西南部的四川省一名男子发现女友有其他伴侣后,也提出了索赔要求。

 

They were both married but had been seeing each other for five years and he had often given her money to buy clothes. After the woman refused to pay the man a “break-up tax” multiple times, he went to her home and threw acid at her family.

他们都是已婚人士,但约会已经有五年,男方经常给女方钱去买衣服。在女方多次拒绝给男方支付“分手费”后,这名男子来到女方家中,向她的家人泼硫酸。

 

He was arrested on suspected manslaughter, but argued that his behaviour could have been avoided if the couple had parted as equals.

他因涉嫌过失杀人而被捕,但辩称如果他们平等分手的话这一切都可避免。

 

‘A plaything of men?’

“男人的玩物?”

 

In the case of the money left in the Hangzhou bar, the Global Times reported that the woman had thought it was “a few million short”.

至于那笔在杭州酒吧留下的钱,环球时报报道说,女方认为“还少了几百万”。

 

“I didn’t take it, and left. I told him to get it himself. That was it,” it reports her as saying.

“我没要,就走了。我让他自己回去拿。就这样。”女方原话如此。

 

She didn’t realise, however, that her former boyfriend had already left the bar. Both subsequently turned up at the police station hoping that they might be able to recover the money.

但她没有意识到,她的前男友已经离开酒吧。双方随后都出现在警局希望可以拿回这笔钱。

 

It was returned to the man, who was told by police not to be so careless with it in the future. However, he said that he was still puzzled over whether the amount of money he had given to his ex-girlfriend was sufficient.

钱最终归还给了男方,警方教育其今后不要再意气用事。不过警方仍旧难以置信,男方给前女友的分手费是否太多了?

 

However, the man, who was in his twenties replied: “Is two million yuan a big sum?”

然而,这名二十来岁的男子却反问他说,“两百万很多吗?”

 

Users of the popular Sina Weibo microblog were incredulous, with one commenting: “Two million can buy you a decent house in Hangzhou.”

网友在热门网站新浪微博上纷纷表示不敢置信,有一条评论说:“两百万可以在杭州买一间像样的房子了。”

incredulous:[ɪn’kredjʊləs] adj. unable or unwilling to believe something不能相信的; 不愿相信的


“Why do you need money in order to leave?” one user asked, and another questioned the woman’s will to be independent. “How must this woman regard herself? As a product or a plaything of men?”

“为什么你要钱才能分手?”一网友问道,另一网友则质疑该女子想分手的意愿。“这女人该怎么看待自己?是男人的商品还是玩物?”

 

Users noted the pressure that such fees put on Chinese men, especially given the country’s notorious gender imbalance. “Why is it that men must always give women money and goods? Are men and women unequal?” one user asked.

网友们也指出了这些分手费对中国男性造成的压力,尤其是考虑到中国臭名昭著的性别比例失衡问题。“凭什么男人必须老给女人花钱买东西?男人和女人是不平等的吗?”一名网友问道。

 

It also called some to question the connection between money and love, and to ask whether such customs put added pressure on China’s poor to find a partner.

这起事件也让一些人质疑金钱和爱情之间的关系,以及这样的习俗是否增加了中国穷人寻找伴侣的压力。


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【BBC】“分手费”哪地强?

<原文链接:https://www.bbc.com/news/world-asia-china-44078961 >



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