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【读者文摘】校园枪击案频发,有无解?

【读者文摘】校园枪击案频发,有无解?

所有外在的暴力都始于内心的孤独。在校园里,我们又能否发现内心孤独的孩子呢?

校园枪击案:如何防患于未然?

【读者文摘】校园枪击案频发,有无解?

译者:徐嘉茵 & 王津雨

校对:邵海灵

策划:邹世昌

 

Here’s how one schoolteacher takes time each week to look out for the lonely.

一位老师是如何每周花时间去关注孤单学生的?请看下文。

 

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A few weeks ago, I went into my son Chase’s class for tutoring. I’d e-mailed Chase’s teacher one evening and said, “Chase keeps telling me that this stuff you’re sending home is math—but I’m not sure I believe him. Help, please.” She e-mailed right back and said, “No problem! I can tutor Chase after school anytime.” And I said, “No, not him. Me. He gets it. Help me.”

几周前,我到儿子蔡斯的班上接受辅导。之前某天晚上,我给他的老师发了邮件,写道:“蔡斯一直跟我说,您发过来的这份材料是关于数学的——但我不确定是否应该相信他。请您帮帮我。”她马上就回复邮件说:“没问题!我可以在课后任何时间辅导蔡斯。”我说:“不,不是他,是我。他已经懂了。请帮帮我吧。”

 

And that’s how I ended up standing at a chalkboard in an empty fifth-grade classroom while Chase’s teacher sat behind me, using a soothing voice to try to help me understand the “new way we teach long division.” Luckily for me, I didn’t have to unlearn much because I’d never really understood the “old way we taught long division.” It took me a solid hour to complete one problem, but I could tell that Chase’s teacher liked me anyway. She used to work with NASA, so obviously we have a whole lot in common.

这就是为什么,我最终出现在了一个空荡荡的五年级教室中,站在了黑板前,蔡斯的老师坐在我身后,用抚慰人心的语气尝试帮我理解“教授长除法的新方式”。幸运的是,我不需要忘记太多旧的知识,因为我就从未真正理解过“教授长除法的旧方式”究竟是什么。我花了整整一个小时去解决一个问题,但可以肯定的是,蔡斯的老师还是挺喜欢我的。她以前在NASA工作,所以我们显然有许多共同之处。

 

Afterward, we sat for a few minutes and talked about teaching children and what a sacred trust and responsibility it is. We agreed that subjects like math and reading are not the most important things that are learned in a classroom. We talked about shaping little hearts to become contributors to a larger community—and we discussed our mutual dream that those communities might be made up of individuals who are kind and brave above all.

然后,我们一起坐着聊了几分钟,聊了孩子的教育,聊了做老师是何等重大的托付和责任。我们一致认为,像数学和阅读之类的科目并不是学生在课堂上学到的最重要的东西。我们谈论了如何塑造孩子的幼小心灵,使得他们能对一个更大的群体作出贡献——还讨论了我们的共同愿望:那个更大的群体,首先应该是一群友善而又勇敢的人。

 

And then she told me this.

接着,她告诉了我一件事。

 

Every Friday afternoon, she asks her students to take out a piece of paper and write down the names of four children with whom they’d like to sit the following week. The children know that these requests may or may not be honored. She also asks the students to nominate one student who they believe has been an exceptional classroom citizen that week. All ballots are privately submitted to her.

每个星期五下午,她都会要求学生拿出一张纸,写下四个他们想要在下周坐在一起的小伙伴的名字。孩子们知道这些要求不一定会得到兑现。她也要求学生指定一个他们认为在本周表现异常的同学。只有她能看到孩子们投的票。

 

And every single Friday afternoon, after the students go home, she takes out those slips of paper, places them in front of her, and studies them. She looks for patterns.

每周五下午学生放学后,她会拿出这些纸条,放在面前进行研究。她在寻找规律。

 

Who is not getting requested by anyone else?

谁没有被其他小伙伴选中?

 

Who can’t think of anyone to request?

谁想不出该选哪个同学?

 

Who never gets noticed enough to be nominated?

谁从未得到足够的关注,从来没有入选过?

 

Who had a million friends last week and none this week?

谁在上周还很受欢迎,但这周却没有朋友了?

 

You see, Chase’s teacher is not looking for a new seating chart or “exceptional citizens.” Chase’s teacher is looking for lonely children. She’s looking for children who are struggling to connect with other children. She’s identifying the little ones who are falling through the cracks of the class’s social life. She is discovering whose gifts are going unnoticed by their peers. And she’s pinning down—right away—who’s being bullied and who is doing the bullying.

你看,蔡斯的老师并不是想搞一个新的座次表,也不是想找出“特殊分子”,而是在找孤独的孩子。她正在寻找哪些孩子正在努力要与他人建立联系,识别哪些小不点儿正在从班级小社会的裂隙中掉出圈子,发现哪个孩子的天赋正被同学们忽视。她还在圈定——而且立刻就确认了——谁正在被霸凌,而谁又是霸凌者。

 

As a teacher, parent, and lover of all children, I think this is the most brilliant Love Ninja strategy I have ever encountered. It’s like taking an X-ray of a classroom to see beneath the surface of things and into the hearts of students. It is like mining for gold—the gold being those children who need a little help, who need adults to step in and teach them how to make friends, how to ask others to play, how to join a group, or how to share their gifts. And it’s a bully deterrent because every teacher knows that bullying usually happens outside her eyeshot and that often kids being bullied are too intimidated to share. But, as she said, the truth comes out on those safe, private, little sheets of paper.

身为一名老师、家长和一个喜爱所有孩子的人,我认为这种做法是我所遇到过的最为明智的“忍者之爱策略”。它像教室里的一束X射线那样,透过事情表面,直视学生们的内心;它像在挖掘金子——金子是指这样一些孩子们,他们需要一点帮助,需要成年人介入并教他们如何交朋友、请他人一起玩儿、加入一个团体或发挥他们的天赋;而且它还构成了对霸凌行为的威慑,因为每个老师都知道,霸凌行为经常发生在老师的视野之外,而且被霸凌的孩子常常吓得不敢告诉别人。但是,正如蔡斯的老师所说,从那些安全私密小纸片中就能挖掘出真相。

 

As Chase’s teacher explained this simple, ingenious idea, I stared at her with my mouth hanging open. “How long have you been using this system?” I said.

就在蔡斯的老师解释这个简单巧妙的想法时,我目瞪口呆地看着她。“这一方法您已用了多久了?”我问。

 

Ever since Columbine, she said. Every single Friday afternoon since Columbine. Good Lord.

她回答,从科伦拜校园事件之后就开始了,就是从该事件之后的每个周五下午。上帝啊!

Columbine:科伦拜校园事件是1999年4月20日在美国科罗拉多州杰佛逊郡科伦拜中学(Columbine High School)发生的校园枪击事件。两名青少年学生—埃里克·哈里斯(Eric Harris)和迪伦·克莱伯德(Dylan Klebold)配备枪械和爆炸物进入校园,枪杀15人,并造成24人受伤,两人接着自杀身亡。这起事件是在弗吉尼亚理工大学枪击案发生前,美国历史上最血腥的校园枪击案之一。

This brilliant woman watched Columbine knowing that all violence begins with disconnection. All outward violence begins as inner loneliness. Who are our next mass shooters and how do we stop them? She watched that tragedy knowing that children who aren’t being noticed may eventually resort to being noticed by any means necessary.

这位英明的女士看过科伦拜校园事件,明白所有的暴力行为都始于与他人的沟通不畅;所有外在的暴力都始于内心的孤独。谁会是我们下一次大规模枪击案的凶手?我们又如何制止他们?老师见过那场悲剧,知道那些被忽视的孩子们可能终将采取一切必要的方式来获得人们的关注。

 

And so she decided to start fighting violence early and often in the world within her reach. What Chase’s teacher is doing when she sits in her empty classroom studying those lists written with shaky 11-year-old hands is saving lives. I am convinced of it.

因此,蔡斯的老师决定尽早在其力所能及范围内开始与暴力行为做斗争。当她坐在空教室里研究那些11岁孩子颤抖的小手写出的清单时,她的行为正在拯救生命。我对此坚信不疑。

 

And what this mathematician has learned while using this system is something she really already knew: that everything—even love, even belonging—has a pattern to it. She finds the patterns, and through those lists she breaks the codes of disconnection. Then she gets lonely kids the help they need. It’s math to her. It’s math.

而且这位数学家通过使用该方法而学到的东西,其实是她已经知道的:所有事物——哪怕是爱甚至归属感——都有自己的规律。她发现了这种规律,而且通过这些清单,她破译了儿童之间的密码,找出了被孤立的那些人。然后她为孤独的孩子们提供其所需的帮助。对她来说,那就是数学,是数学。

 

All is love—even math. Amazing.

所有一切都是爱——就连数学也不例外。真是不可思议。

 

What a way to spend a life: looking for patterns of love and loneliness. Stepping in, every single day, and altering the trajectory of our world.

这是何等伟大的人生啊:寻找爱和孤独的规律;并且介入其中,每一天都是如此,从而改变我们这个世界的轨道。

 

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【读者文摘】校园枪击案频发,有无解?

<原文链接:https://www.rd.com/advice/parenting/stop-bullying-strategy/ >

 

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